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    03 August

    最近真累

    很久没有好好休息了,感觉身心越来越疲惫.工作很累,回家也很累,这几天公司让电放假,还不得不来加班.还好推辞掉几天--!!
    昨天她跟我抱怨,说她需要我的关心.其实我知道,只是最近我在她面前,无法轻松. 这段时间我愈来愈觉得,她只是需要我,但并不在乎我.她可以坚持她的意愿,抹去我所有的快乐.意识到这点我的心更加封闭.
    这次我弟弟来,我把所有事情都安排好了才告诉她,后来弟弟的女朋友又来了,我加班时逃出来帮他们安顿了一下.我尽力让我家的事情不牵扯到她们,因为我实在吃不准她们的态度,但可以确定的是不会太顾及我的感受. 这些还只是小事,毕竟我还能搞定.然而有一件事却一直压在我心头,房子,她一直对产权归属不满,偏偏又很犟,只知道强硬索要.和我父母之间关系又不怎么样,最重要的是我自己的信心产生了动摇.我问自己苦苦撑着究竟为了什么,除了儿子外,我找不到第二个理由.我不知道这种状况还能否改变.我现在把所有的事都压在心底,对她我不愿说,因为我怕我会爆发,弄的不可收拾;对父母我是不忍说;对朋友就不提了.  然而事情压是压不住的,这个年关也许又是一场考验--!! 我处理这类问题的能力也确实是差
    不说了,过几天上船休息一阵子先... 

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